its all fun and games until someone says they love you.

This is me. Stuck in this fucking moving circle, no ending no starting in sight… and i cant breath. i feel like i’m slowly sufficating to death and every move i makes is a conscious effort to not give in, and im trying as hard as i can to be strong.

why?

I feel like I used to feel freshman year of hs, except this time its…. i dont know. worse. confusing-er.

…more confusing… lol.

So there was my complaining…

Its really not that hard to be straight up with someone though, right…? Am I wrong? No.. It isn’t. In which case, i don’t understand why it has to be for some people, you know…

But the truth of the matter is this is all fine, because come September I will be back at school, back in the dorms, back to Ypsi and Ann Arbor and Ole’ EMU. and it will be better because it has to be. Because i’m counting on it being better. because thats the reason i’m able to breath anymore.

sometimes i feel like im falling forward when im not. like i can just be sitting cross-legged and all of a sudden i feel like my face is on the ground, but its not.

i held back the tears today. they filled my eyes and i thought to myself “…really?” how weak am i if i cry. how weak am i if i let this bullshit get to me. fuck everything right now, i am STRONGER then this. im strong enough to say ‘shits shit’ and get on with my life.

but meanwhile im still confused.

and sad. in general.

but….

im not gonna let this hurt me. no one/nothing will hurt me again. im in control.